Even More Thoughts on Stuff

— Another cyclist victimized in a hit and run on-purpose.

This guy wasn’t Kornheisered, he wasn’t just “tapped” or “popped”, he was Learyed.

Jurgen Ankenbrand must have been Hamilton Beach, California’s “number one quality of life threat”. So some socially astute guardian of the public trust and welfare took his Toyota 4 Runner and hammered the 67 year old raging cyclopath straight to Hell.

And Denis Leary gives another cheer

But, really, isn’t it nice to finally see the “angry” in Angry Asian?

— Robbie “Head-Butt” McEwen and Robbie Hunter sign on to the RadioSkank Slave Squad.

Couple’a points.

1. Robbie Hunter? Not really a sprinter, not even at his best and strongest. So quit fookin’ sayin’ he is! Dammit.

Is he a good guy? Sure. Is he a reliable domestique? Yes. But he’s only gonna win a sprint if all the real sprinters break their legs and are forced to ride 25 year old steal frame commuters.

2. Going to RadioSkank as a sprinter (are you listening, Head-Butt?) is like going into the salt flats as a climber.

As Johan Bruyneel admits, Robbie and Robbie can expect exactly ZERO by way of team support. The first race is yet to be rid and he’s already saying, “Yer on yer own, fellas.”.

Johan, oh by the way, would the the King Mega Boogie of All Douche Bags if not for being topped by Lance Armstrong.

Head-Butt, for his part, took full advantage of the official UCI Boonen Exemption and took a few healthy drags on his crack pipe, saying:

“Johan Bruyneel offered me the environment I was looking for. I am happy and grateful. I still know and believe that I am one of the fastest sprinters in the world. The young guys like Cavendish, Farrar or Greipel are tough to beat but I know that I am still amongst that group of elite sprinters.”

Ummmmmmmm, right. Just what the rest of us were thinking. Or not.

Head-Butt then passed the pipe to Hunter, who finished it off and said:

“Team RadioShack suits me very well. I’ve proved in the past that I have no problem sacrificing my chances for another rider as I did last year for Tylar Farrar. Also in 2011 the Team can count on me and I know that they will give me the opportunity to do my own sprints, too.”

Right, you weren’t supporting Tyler Farrar because he’s the second best sprinter in the world and you’re a schlub, you were supporting Tyler because you valiantly sacrificed your own glory, which you easily could have snatched away from the snot nosed upstart had you not been such a swell team player.

And, yes, you will be allowed to do your own sprints. For instance, if you want to ace the sprint at your family picnic, BAM, totally yours. You wanna win the final sprint at the Tour of Bumfuktistan, POOF, you got it, buddy.

Come on, guys, really? Radioskank is a desperation move.

When McEwen was just a baby Head-Butt he was Cav before there was a Cav, and a whole lot nastier. I think guys were actually afraid of Head-Butt back in the day, both as a sprinter and as a flat-out, flaming sociopath.

Sadly, as he’s gotten older and slower he’s also gotten more civilized.

To that I say, “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

The best thing that will come out of this deal is that Head-Butt will be mentoring guys like Ben King (yes, the American one). Because of McEwen, you’ll see a more aggressive bunch of younger guys and they’ll learn to read a course better and more quickly than they would without him.

Head-Butt has a lot more to offer The Skank than The Skank has to offer him.

— $10,400 to “test” a bike and give a manufacturer a role of stickers that says it is “UCI approved”?

I call bullshiite.

— I actually agree with UCI on this one.

And, yes, saying that did cause a lil blood vessel in my eye to burst.

But the whole Pegasus thing seemed to be done in a totally halfazzed manner.

Chris White has been a fookin’ wolverine and when Pegasus eventually makes it to the elites it’ll be largely thanks to his refusal to roll over and die.

But, dude, organization does NOT appear to be your forte (pronounced FORT, for all you retards who doubly miss pronounce it forTAY).

A free one year subscription to Bikezilla if you can name my pet peeve.

— Campagnolo reintroduces an electronic groupo.

Just as Shimano is rumored to releasing its Ultegra Di2 set in 2012.

Campagnolo has a lot to live up to considering that Shimano’s Dura Ace Di2 groupo has a reputation for flawless performance under any conditions.

SRAM says they’re sticking with purely mechanical group sets because they’re less expensive and are affordable to a larger group of riders.

Again, I call bullshiite.

Their business model doesn’t allow them to create a groupo to compete with the quality and performance of Dura Ace Di2, which will be the standard until someone can unseat it.

When Shimano’s cheap stuff fails, it usually just grossly under-performs, bends, stretches, refuses to hold adjustment.

All bad stuff, which has caused me to really have an intense disliking for Shimano and the way they shiite all over their lower income customers.

But . . .

When SRAM’s cheap stuff fails, it usually BREAKS, sometimes dangerously.

— And for your viewing and listening pleasure, another bike related music video.

Submitted by the temporarily resurrected Ophelia. Poor lil zombie Ophelia. Thank you.

More, More Thoughts on Stuff

— Chris White of Pegasus Sports isn’t just being hardheaded, he’s being smart.

If he can keep the team running this year and have some success at the Continental level, then he can remove some doubts about the stability of Pegasus and improve his chances of gaining bigger sponsors and of moving up to ProContinental.

With the likelihood of finding a spot on other teams really slim for most Pegasus riders and staff for the 2011 season, they’d seem to have some motivation to stick with the team even as a Continental squad. If they do, they should tear things up at that level and not have any problem impressing sponsors and UCI in order to get into position to move up for 2012.

My fingers are crossed for you, Chris.

— Christian Meier took some questions from Twitter geeks.

Christian, like Cadel Evans, also has a way cool cycling wife. She’s no Chiara, who’s still the coolest cycling wife / gf ever, but who is.

— I’m still bummed that Ben King (yes, the American one) will be riding for RadioSkank.

But I’m stoked about finally seeing he and Taylor Phinney (BMC) race as pros at the elite level.

— Spokesman webcasts. Love’em, despite being a little too chatty and rambling.

— Here’s a link to some winter cycling tips

I’ve noticed a lot more people out on their bikes, even in the nastiest cold weather this year.

I really need to swap the tires on my MTB for something with better tread, but I probably won’t and I’ll probably end up wishing I had.

— And, oh yeah, another bike related music video.

http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xcyddb_the-smiths-stop-me-if-you-think-you_music?additionalInfos=0
The Smiths – Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before
Uploaded by Warner-Music. – Explore more music videos.

More Thoughts on Stuff

— Another UCI power play.

I’m obviously missing something in that article, because it seems like this new “program” amounts to, “Ok, you guys give us some money and we’ll give you some stickers, which we’ll totally trust you to only put on equipment that we’ve approved, so there won’t be any need for all that pesky checking at inconvenient times like right before races.”.

Biopassports for bike equipment?

I think it’s just one more way for UCI to stick its unwelcome and unneeded nose further into places it has no business being.

Their fookin’ rules are arbitrary, created and enforced on a whim, and what say do the people and groups that their rules actually affect have? NONE!

They can’t be voted out of office, they can’t be fired by the people and groups they claim to represent. They do what they want, when they want, where they want, to who and what they want and they can do it all in any manner they wish, with no risk of repercussions.

— UCI lives in a world with no official, and very few unofficial, checks and balances.

They throw their weight in any direction, or nearly any direction, and people jump to get out of the way.

They bully riders, who are unorganized, they bully teams, which are also unrepresented by any organization, they bully race owners / organizers, who as a group also lack a backing organization, and now they intensify their bullying of manufacturers.

The really annoying thing is that manufacturers HAVE organized and are represented by World Federation of Sporting Goods Industry.

Unfortunately, the WFSGI is a paper tiger. It stands before King McQuaid, after many months of begging for an audience, trembling and stuttering, shifting nervously from foot to foot and hoping that he and the Kingdom of UCI will simply allow them to continue their pathetic existence.

They posses the muscle and influence of an entire industry, yet quake before the poxy whore McQuaid, never understanding that he merely feigns royalty, with his smear of clown-red lipstick, his threadbare wig and his mangled tin crown.

“Pathetic” is too gentle a word.

— ASO has no liking or even respect for McQuaid. They pretend to adore him because for the moment he is their lapdog.

ASO alone recognizes McQuaid for the powerless charlatan that he really is. Only ASO as smashed McQuaid’s nose into his own stinking pile of dung and forced him to breathe deeply.

If owners / organizers of the Giro and the Vuelta would join together against UCI they could do the same.

Please, God, let them have the courage.

If they do, maybe riders and teams and a broader groups of race owners / organizers will finally find the spine to band together and man up and stop quelling before the toothless lion that is Pat McQuaid and the UCI.

— And, oh by the way, I’m not the only one whining fruitlessly, powerlessly and with self-righteous indignation over this.

But just let me add, “Yeah, what she said!”.

— This is how you take a “casual” ride with your gf without you feeling like you’re going so slow that you’re about to topple over and her feeling like you’re abandoning her because you’re riding too far ahead.

— Tour Down Under organizers are tantrum-throwing bullies.

They refuse to allow riders in their race to participate in any other Australian races.

They build themselves up at the expense of Australia’s national cycling prestige and future. They weaken the country for the sake of their own interest. It’s disgusting.

If UCI really gives a shiite about the global growth of cycling and its future, they’ll step in and speak up publicly and without equivocation.

— Lance Armstrong? Self-absorbed, egomaniacal scum to rival Hitler. But ASO should like him a hell of a lot more than they do.

He’s the goose that laid their golden mofo egg.

— Correction. What Pat McQuaid means is EPO suspensions for nobodies should be four years. The Bigs have nothing to worry about, because if there’s so much as a suspicion that they’ve doped, UCI will make sure they aren’t even tested.

— Scum-sucking billionaire jerk, George Gillett Jr and his attempt to humiliate and destroy Australia’s national Pegasus Sports cycling team seem to have failed.

YAAAAAAAAAAAY! for the team and the 50 – 80 people who won’t lose their jobs.

But is sounds like the team is down to bare bones. It should be a real joy to ride for these guys this season.

— Women’s cycling is an amazing sport. Some elite women, I think, could not only push the envelope but tear it wide open and ride with the men. Measuring power by watts/kg some elite women actually outperform men.

Not to mention that the women are generally a hell of a lot sweeter to look at, even in team kits, than the men.

Yet the funding, coverage and opportunities for female racers and their teams SUCKS!.

It’s bullshiite.

— Almost forgot:

Here’s another bicycle related music video.

http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xcxvpy_owen-one-of-these-days_music?additionalInfos=0
Owen – One of These Days
Uploaded by ADA_Distribution. – See the latest featured music videos.

More, More Thoughts on Stuff

— Another cycling related item that I would LOVE to have, but is stupidly over-priced.

The 2011 Cycle Passion Calendar.

I wonder just how much less expensive the “smaller, less expensive” version will be when it comes out.

What are the chances that a girlfriend would buy, “But, Honey, it’s all about the bikes, I swear!”?

— French cycling sucks and even French guys know it. Or at least one really important (in cycling terms) French guy; David Lappartient who is President of the French Cycling Federation (FFC).

Before I get to the next “thought” in this article, I need to point out that Lappartient dings ASO (Amaury Sport Organisation) for being takers, but not giving back to the world of French cycling.

ASO is the owner of several of the most prestigious races in all of professional cycling, most notably the Tour de France.

As such, they’re an arrogant bunch of prigs. They demand much and can be quite nasty about it.

But historically they’ve given damned little in return, aside from the great honor of being allowed to ride in or watch their glorious races.

Lappartient and others, at least according to the above linked article, have been attempting to remedy this with little to show for it beyond constant put-offs and stalling on the part of ASO.

Specifically, Lappartient bemoans ASO’s lack of interest, support and recognition for French amateur races.

So when you read that . . .

— ASO saves U23 Paris – Roubaix, instead of being impressed by ASO’s gracious generosity, maybe wonder why they ever let this become an issue and how much begging and hand-wringing was required to get them to step in.

— I again used Twitter to ask a professional cyclist a marvelously probing question of great value to cycling fans everywhere.

“@albertocontador Regardless of guilt or innocence, won’t cycling be harmed more if you are not suspended for 2 yrs than if you are?”

His reply?

What reply?

How they dare ignore such an esteemed and powerful member of the journalistic community is utterly beyond my comprehension.

— Has anyone else noticed that Jakob Fuglsang’s Twitter picture makes him look like a B movie space alien?

— Lance Armstrong has been working the PR like a crack addicted hooker needing a fix. He works feverishly to bury the “Lance is a douche” image and to paint himself as Mr Niceguy.

And now we know that The FDA is more interested in his importation and distribution of illegal drugs than in his personal use.

I wonder, does he expect that if he paints himself a pretty enough image in the public eye, that when he’s standing in front of the judge it’ll make him less likely to become some fat, tattooed redneck’s prison biatch?

— And just for the heck of it, another bike related music video.

So Real – Jeff Buckley
http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=912166,t=1,mt=video
Senior Gonzales | Myspace Video