Not a Shameless Attempt to Spam Google

There are no NAKED PICTURES OF BRITNEY SPEARS on this site. And like I would share those if I had them!

There are no HOT ASIAN WOMEN, here, and to be honest, I think I’m more disappointed with that than with having no naked pictures of Britney (which, again, would be just for my own personal viewing pleasure, of course).

There are no VIDEO AND PICTURES OF LANCE ARMSTRONG AND JOHAN BRUYNEEL HAVING GAY SEX, and, really, aren’t we all more than a little happy not to have to see THAT?

Also no NAKED PICTURES OF ANGELINA JOLIE, though how you could get a camera back far enough from her to get more than just her lips in the pictures is anyone’s guess.

No VIDEO OF DONALD TRUMPS GROSSLY UNDERPAID STYLIST PREPARING HIS RIDICULOUS COME-OVER.

No VIDEO OF LANCE ARMSTRONG INJECTING HIMSELF AND TEAMMATES WITH EPO.

Nor VIDEO OF LANCE ARMSTRONG FLOGGING AND BERATING TEAM RADIOSKANK TEAMMATES FOR FAILING TO JUMP PRECISELY TO THE MM AS HIGH AS ORDERED.

No VIDEO OF JESSICA ALBA HAVING LESBIAN SEX WITH LUCY LIU, which is truly something to be saddened over.

Though as a consolation I did manage to find the LUCY LIU “SEXY LEGS” VIDEO:

Yes, there is VIDEO OF LANCE ARMSTRONG SAVAGELY SHOVING A HELPLESS OLD MAN AGAINST A FENCE. But who really cares about that? Certainly not journalists, who are too afraid of Lance to utter a single syllable that he may find disfavor with.

There’s also no FREE IPHONE, FREE IPAD, AND FREE XBOX 360.

Nor can you get THOUSANDS OF FREE TWITTER FOLLOWERS MERELY BY CLICKING THIS LINK.

There is no link where you can find THOUSANDS OF FREE X RATED VIDEOS.

And finally, and almost as sadly as my lack of HOT ASIAN WOMEN and JESSICA ALBA AND LUCY LIU LESBIAN SEX VIDEOS, there is no FLOYD LANDIS AND GREG LEMOND PRESENT HARD PHYSICAL EVIDENCE OF LANCE ARMSTRONG DOPING VIDEO. . . (YET!)