Ride the Puddles

Thoughts on Stuff: Doping Edition

Posted by bikezilla on March 12, 2011

This article might alternately be titled: Fuck You, Lance Armstrong

Except that such a title is not very family friendly, and so not in keeping with Bikezilla’s policies and guidelines regarding good taste and objectivity.

— Floyd Landis has openly and repeatedly (and belatedly) admitted that he was a serial doper.

Yet he insists that he did not use testosterone during or immediately prior to the 2006 Tour de France.

Oddly, that’s the substance that he was nailed for using.

Another confessed doper, Gert-Jan Theunisse, was “caught” when he failed a doping control for testosterone. Theunisse also insists that he had not used testosterone.

What are the possibilities for this?

Is the test inaccurate?

Are doping results manipulated by WADA and AFLD at UCI’s request?

This would make sense in the Landis case, especially (or “expecially” as C2 and fav sister say) if an individual in that mafiaesque culture, say someone like Made-Man Lance Armstrong, had a grudge vs Landis and maybe slipped a godfather type figure at UCI a lil cashola and made such a request.

But does that fly with Theunisse?

Did UCI go after him because his conscience had him making uncomfortable statements about the wrongness of doping to PDM management? Uncomfortable statements that were passed on to the-godfather Hein Verbruggen and that made Theunisse a liability within the mafioso hierarchy of the sport and its growing culture of doping?

Here again is the quote of Verbruggen after Theunisse and others came forward to admit to doping and to condemn the practice of doping.

They “cannot bring any good and it makes those riding clean feel guilty. They are giving the impression that doping practices were structured in their teams.”.


“A rider is the first one responsible of his doping. They could have said: no to doping. About these three riders, another Dutch rider told me that if they were ethical they would return the prizes they won thanks to doping”.

From these it’s clear that Verbruggen strove to protect the guilty and to promote the use of performance enhancing drugs. And he did it all at the expense of the innocent and of those wishing only for redemption.

But how far would he go to protect and promote?

That brings us, complete with our tinfoil hats, to . . .

— Riccardo Ricco.

Ricco, never accused of being the smartest of guys, recently poisoned himself while transfusing his own spoiled blood.


He then confessed to the transfusion.

Only to recant that confession.

Now, whether Ricco quits on his own or not is irrelevant. The boy won’t be riding professionally ever again.

Regardless of how dim he may be, he’s got to understand this.

So what could be his motivation for continuing to not only deny his doping history, but to escalate those denials?

Might it be something along the lines of a very personal, very intimate phone call from UCI Pat “Dick” McQuaid, followed by calls from Dick’s lawyers, explaining how opening up this whole, big ole can of worms about doping and who is and isn’t doping, what assistance is given by teams, which doctors and their staffs perform the procedures, really doesn’t benefit anyone and certainly doesn’t benefit the sport in any way? A lil cash across his palm couldn’t hurt, either.

Hmmmmmmmmm. Nah. Couldn’t be that.

— And since none of you can go a single minute without some discussion or another of Lance Armstrong, I’ll talk about him, too.

Mind you, I don’t do this because I want to, but only as a public service. You’re welcome.

Velonews just put out an article about Georgia Congressman Jack Kingston and his crusade to get the FDA investigation into Lance Armstrong’s illegal drug activities shutdown.

Reading Kingston’s comments I can only assume that Hein Verbruggen writes the good Congressman’s copy.

His accusations on Armstrong’s behalf include:

“But it almost appears to me that there’s a little adventurism going on here; that Mr. Novitsky is operating on his own.” — Because Novitksy hasn’t made a name for himself yet. Errrrrrr, or something like that.


” . . . because it’s a celebrity, and one great way to make a name for yourself in this town and in politics is to bring down a celebrity.” — Because nobody noticed him after the whole Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire thing.

Kingston even gave a Vergruggenesque rationale for why Lance Armstrong totally deserves a free pass for any wrongdoing:

“This is an icon who revolutionized bike riding and brought it home to so many Americans, this is a huge icon that your agency is trying to take down . . .”

“But you’re really going after somebody whose name is synonymous with health.”

Let me see if I follow, Congressman.

Lance Armstrong is above the law because:

1. He’s an icon.

2. He’s a HUGE icon.

3. He “revolutionized bike riding”.

4. He “brought it home to so many Americans” — Considering the Congressman’s enthusiastic promotion of the sport in Armstrong’s defense, I’m sure we will soon see many pro-bicycle bills with his name in their titles.

5. His “name is synonymous with health” — All I can say to this one is, “Wha . . .?”

I think it’d be interesting to find out how much Lance Armstrong, along with any organization or company that Lance Armstrong has any connection with, “donated” to Congressman Kingston.

I mean, how much exactly does it cost to buy a Congressman these days?

The VeloNews article, after much bullying by Lance Armstrong and his lawyers, has gone through several post-publication changes.

But here’s a quote from the original that you’ll no longer find on the site:

“Sources close to the case told VeloNews that Armstrong’s attorneys have met with Department of Justice officials in Washington in recent months in an effort to stop Novitzky’s investigation. Despite the lobbying effort, the department has increased the number of U.S. attorneys developing a potential indictment against those currently under investigation.”

For now you can find that in an archived copy of the article, HERE. You’ll have to scroll most of the way down the page.

— Remember, girls and boys, your tinfoil hats only work if they’re made of TINfoil. Aluminum foil will actually increase the potency of alien and governmental mind-control rays.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: