Ride the Puddles

Official Bikezilla Naming Guidelines for Team Leopard Drek

Posted by bikezilla on January 15, 2011

Trek has sent out it’s official naming guidelines / rules for it’s co-sponsorship of the Leopard cycling project, to real media outlets and to bloggers who have more than three readers.

As you may well guess, I came in under the minimum.

Never the less I feel that guidelines are fair and right and should be followed to the letter.

My naming guidelines for said team and project are thusly:

Because Trek, possibly due to its long and storied association with Lance Armstrong, is an extraordinarily arrogant and controlling entity, and because said entity cares not one whit for the quality of over-priced product that it so generously offers to its lowest income consumers, it shall hereby, henceforth and forthwith be known in these realms (uh, right, these realms known as Bikezilla and Food. Work. Life.) by the name Team Leopard-Drek.

The pronunciation shall be thusly: teem LEHperd dreck

The word “team” shall, at all times and for all purposes, cometh first, according to age old cycling media tradition.

The final word, “dreck” shall, at all times and for all purposes, be uttered with a tone of scorn, derision and disgust.

So saieth I. So shall it be.


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