Ride the Puddles

Thoughts on Stuff

Posted by bikezilla on December 13, 2010

Pegasus Sports, they crash and burn without ever getting off the ground.

Is a lackluster roster to blame?

Was billionaire douchewad, George Gillet unwilling to cough up a promised 4.7 million bucks for a team charging hard toward mediocrity or worse? What happened to team development?

Where’s Robbie “Head-Butt” McEwen gonna be racing now?

He’s probably one of the few guys from Pegasus who’ll be lucky enough to find a team for ’11.

I’ve asked him, via Twitter. So for he’s silently told me to piss off.

That hurts, Head-Butt. Truly.


HTC uses 2011 team kits to announce that the entire team is gay.

— Pat McQuaid, Uber Douche (yes, I do use that word waaaaaaaaaay too much).

Remember in ’09 when Lance Armstrong said something about the Grand Tours not needing to be three weeks long, that maybe two weeks would be plenty?

Pat agrees and is actually pushing to have the Giro and Vuelta reduced.

Does anyone else smell ASO on this?

McQuaid has been their bitch since they slapped his azz down over who they did and didn’t have to invite to their races and showed him that they’re the real power in professional cycling, not UCI.

Since then he’s been making sly lil moves that up their importance by undermining the competition, like moving the Tour of California to May vs the Giro d’Italia and extending it closer to two weeks.

I agree with him that cycling needs to be expanded outside of Europe. But I’d rather see a rival for European cycling. I don’t think American and other National cycling interests need to be a parasite on European cycling. There’s no need to bleed one in order to feed the others.

— Jonathan Vaughters says, the way cycling and the junction between teams, sponsors and events is run now, sucks.

Actually, Jonathan never used the word “sucks”, but I know he wanted to, so I used it for him.

You’re welcome, JV. Any little thing I can do to help.

I’m not sure his proposed system is THE solution, but it’s a solution.

I do know that right now the organization of professional cycling is a disaster that isn’t beneficial to teams, riders, events, sponsors or fans. It’s stupidly unstable. That needs to change.

I still say that UCI stands in the way of any positive movement or change and that they need to be destroyed by any means honest or dishonest. They are a snake masquerading as a savior.

— Here’s a bike related music video for all my courier fixie-wank readers via Ophelia (yes, she sent it before she slipped / jumped into the river and drowned). I’d thank her but, hello, she’s dead.

Yes, I’ll mention you, too, if you send me one that I use.

— And because I know you’re starved for it, more advice and worldly wisdom from your dear Bikezilla.

Questions via, all asked me by really really smart people.

Q: How many cockels are in the human heart?

A: None, but there are 37.2659347 cockles.

Q: Does mrs. claus go bar-hopping, that one night that santa is away?

A: No, she comes straight to my place.

Q: Do you cry at movies?

A: You mean like when Spock died?

I totally refuse to answer this.

Q: Is my girlfriend pregnant, her boobs hurt, she can smell a lot of things, foods make her sick and she has mood swings really bad?

A: Depends. Are her eyes glowing red, too?

Q: What color bra should my girlfriend wear?

A: I wouldn’t mind seeing her in the red one. I mean, I like her in the black one, too, but . . .

Q: When you convert to another denomination or faith how does it affect your relationship with your family?

A: Again, depends. What are you converting to / from?

For instance, if you convert from Judaism to Islam, you’re required to blow you’re whole family up the next time they visit Starbucks or ride the bus.

Q: Can you bl** me?

A: No, but while we’re on it, would you mind telling your mom “thanks” for me? She was totally worth the $5.


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