Bikezilla

Ride the Puddles

Disconnected Thoughts

Posted by bikezilla on August 8, 2010


— Did you know that if you have a Twitter account and you’ve been blocked by Lance Armstrong, that you can get a Twiband to celebrate it?

Yep, just like the “LiveStrong” or “28” Twiband, only different.

— Johan Bruyneel had an amazing stroke of luck, jumping from Lance Armstrong to Alberto Contador.

He thought he’d stayed lucky when he jumped back to Lance.

But when Lance fell to shiite during the Tour this year, so did Johan.

The guy that many have considered to be the most brilliant mind in racing was utterly incapable of coming up with a plan to support the GC efforts of Levi Leipheimer and Chris Horner.

That or he was just too big a douchebag.

So what’s up for Johan, now?

I think we’ll see the real measure of his assumed brilliance.

Can he put together a team capable of serious Tour contention?

Will he puss-out and abandon his “Tourcentric” philosophy to chase Classics or the lesser Grand Tours?

It really seems like if he can’t play for all the marbles, then he’d rather sit in the corner and sulk than play at all. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he decided to retire altogether than show that he lacks the spine or the brains for all of this if he doesn’t feel like he has the biggest dog in the fight riding for him.

— Andre Greipel is officially leaving HTC-Columbia to join Omega Pharma Lotto.

Greipel has won a sick number of races over the past few years, but was criticized by teammate Mark Cavendish for only racing in, “shit small races”. Greipel’s response was classy and subdued.

Cav’s sentiment was cruel and petty, but after reading this I have to admit that Cav wasn’t all wrong. All asshole, yes, but not all wrong.

Greipel has done very well when the big dogs of sprinting aren’t against him. He’s been far less impressive racing against the best.

Now he’s gonna get the chance he’s earned and move from a backup role with HTC to the starring role in Omega Pharma Lotto’s sprint package.

We’ll finally see him consistently go head to head vs Cav and guys like Tyler Farrar.

I’m betting that we’ll also see him finish outside the top five nearly every time he goes up against the sprinting Bigs.

He’s a good guy and a pretty good sprinter, but does he rank among the most elite? I don’t think so.

I like him and I’m happy to see him finally get his shot. I just don’t think he’s as good as his raw numbers would have us believe.

— Robbie “Head-Butt” McEwen is writing his autobiography.

That he’s writing his memoirs makes it seem, to me at least, that he’ll be retiring.

Regardless, I’ve lent him the aid of my brilliance and supplied him with a bevy of can’t miss title options.

“Tougher Than A Signpost” Of course, the signpost didn’t require surgery and months of rehab.

“Sling Me To Victory”

“Cav Is a Big Fat Sissy”

“I Ain’t Got Time To Bleed” Then again, Jessie Ventura did get croaked not long after uttering this line in “Predator”.

“And the Peloton Trembled” Simply beautiful, and where’s he gonna get a title half so poetic and dramatic?

“I Owe It All To Bikezilla” Obviously the most truthful of all of these, but no one ever gives me the credit I so grandly deserve.

“I Could Eat Jens’ Heart (But I’m Too Nice, So I Won’t)” Please, Jens fans, don’t be offended, this is, afterall, Robbie Speaking.

“Life as a Badass” Almost as truthful as “I Owe It All To Bikezilla”, but with more oomph.

“Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap” Really, can’t you totally imagine the audiobook version with an AC/DC background music soundtrack?

“Head-Butt: A Journey Through PAIN” His pain, sure, but mostly a lot of THEIR pain.

“Head-Butt: Fear This” (cover photo is a tight in shot of his forehead).

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