Ride the Puddles

Tour de France 2010: More Thoughts #tdf

Posted by bikezilla on July 26, 2010

— Mark Cavendish (HTC)

Mark Renshaw’s disqualification from the Tour was a net gain for Mark Cavendish.

Now, every time some nitwit blogger asks if Cav can get it done without his mighty leadout man, Cav can give a big, yellow-toothy grin and say, “You don’t race bicycles, you don’t know anything about bike racing, and HELL YES I can win without Mark, I’d just rather not.”

Cav really sucked for too damned long this season, and I don’t give a damn about his whiny azz excuses. But, he’s definitely gotten his groove back and he’s THE guy to beat again.

Right now I’m back to wondering, as I did last year, if everyone else is just sprinting for 2nd place when he’s going for the win, or is there someone who can really give him the shiite.

Now if he can just keep from being such a sniveling biatch off the bike.

— Robbie “Head-Butt” McEwen (Katusha), like many riders, went head to head vs the asphalt on multiple occasions and spent the better part of the Tour scabby and bruised. Yet he still managed 8 top ten finishes, including 6 top fives and finished 5th in the Green (sprinters) Jersey competition.

Blah, blah, blah, ok, Head-Butt is tough (maybe not quite Tyler Hamilton tough, but really close). So what?

What pisses me off is that now that’s he’s gotten older and the wins are coming less and less often (in his prime Robbie was a genuine sprinting badass), he’s also gotten less entertaining.

Robbie, dude, you can’t stop being the guy we love to hate and just morph into a guy everybody loves. It just ain’t right.

— Tyler Farrar(Garmin) maybe comes across as a little girlie if you watch his commercial, but on the bike he’s a toughazz mofo.

Riding cobbles is a biatch. Riding cobbles with a broken wrist? I can’t even imagine.

Taking second in a bunch sprint with a broken wrist?

It amazed me that he wasn’t just riding to finish, he was still riding to win.

Add to his toughness that he’s just a really nice and gracious guy and he practically seems like the Anti-Cavendish.

Then, just as I’m thinking he must be freakin’ indestructible, he drops out of the damn Tour.

— Cadel “The Executioner” Evans (BMC)

Ok, Cadel, we need to talk.

It’s great that you rode damned near the entire Tour with a broken elbow. It’s great that daily you out toughed an injury that sucked away your strength and will until all you had left was the insane chittering in your head demanding that your legs keep churning out the pain-filled miles until you crossed that final finish line in Paris.

But the whole, Cadel-is-a-really-good-guy thing has to go. Yes, even if it’s true.

You’re just not that interesting if you aren’t smacking journalists or threatening to cut their heads off.

And one more thing, your wife freakin’ rocks.

— Thor Hushovd (Cervelo)

Thor is an odd duck. He’s a sprinter who isn’t all that good at sprinting, but who rides his azz off even for the intermediate sprint, which to me shows that he has more respect for the Green Jersey than a guy like Cavendish who ignores everything except the final bunch sprint of any stage.

During the Tour, Thor admitted that he’s improved as a climber and as an all-around rider, but that he’s lost something as a sprinter.

So where does he fit now? Is he morphing into a support rider? Or will he fight to get his sprinting form back?

— Sylvain “The Trashman” Chavanel (Quick Step)

Maybe not the coolest guy in the whole peloton, but the coolest French guy in the peloton.

Yeah, just seeing him put his empty gel pack in his jersey pocket instead of tossing it on the ground is that amazing when there’s nearly 200 guys throwing them down all around him.

He helps redeem the peloton’s bad reputation and almost overcomes the uncoolness factor of being a French guy in the peloton.

Winning 2 stages and briefly holding the Yellow (leader’s) Jersey didn’t hurt, either.

— Jens Voigt (Saxo Bank)

Maybe Jens should just quit the Tour after Stage 15 if he’s inclined to stick with it another year, because back to back years with godawful crashes on descents during Stage 16 seems like a really bad omen to me.

I’m betting that many times more people will miss Jens when he retires than will miss Lance Armstrong (RadioSkank)

— Fabian Cancellara (Saxo Bank)

Ok, I was totally wrong to suspect that Fabian used an electric motor to win any of the classics.

He proved in the Prologue, again in Stage 3 over the cobbles and for a third time during the time trial (TT) that, as Frank Schleck said, he only needed the motor in his left leg and the motor in his right leg to win.

But, really, isn’t he a lot more fun to think about as the terrible, bike-doping villain than a flatland riding Superman?

I’m just sayin’.


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