Ride the Puddles

Lance Armstrong vs Alberto Contador 2010

Posted by bikezilla on July 8, 2010

Or Alberto Contador vs Alexandre Vinokourov

Or Alberto Contador vs Alberto Contador

Or Things That Make You Go “WTF?”


Alberto’s brother, Fran, says that Alberto is about to re-up with Astana for a minimum of 2 years and possibly for 3.

Ok, so Astana had such a woody for Alexandre Vinokourov that it went several gazillion miles out of it’s way to chase off possibly the most brilliant, most ruthless and most successful manager in all of cycling, past or present, Johan Bruyneel.

Why? Well, dammit, the team was totally built just for the purpose of supporting (former) doping sucking bas**** Vinokourov, and bringing Vino back as team leader clashed fatally with Johan and his plans.

Vino, a cutthroat weasel who’d shove his mother in front of a bus if it meant he’d gain 15 seconds on a rival and who made an enormous point of showing the world that he was the Big Boss at Astana, NOT Johan, is just gonna quietly sit in the back seat while Alberto drives the family Tour de France wagon? Really?

Do you really believe that, Alberto? I know you aren’t known as the brightest bulb, but can you possibly be that naive or stupid? Apparently yes.


As tradition would suggest to him, Alberto bought watches for Lance and Johan as appreciation gifts for his victory at last year’s Tour.

Appreciation for what? The team was entirely subverted by Lance, who did just about everything to throw Alberto off his game short of actually taking a dump on his breakfast plate.

Daddy Johan, in a move that would do any WWF referee proud, somehow managed not to see or be aware of any of it.

So, Alberto won last year’s Tour, as people are finally beginning to appreciate, damned near entirely alone. If THAT isn’t badass my exwife is thin.

Our Lil Alberto just packaged up those watches and mailed them, no, had a lacky walk them, no, I mean PERSONALLY WALKED THEM OVER TO THE TEAM RADIOSKANK BUS AND HAND DELIVERED THEM.

Now Alberto is either the biggest, bestest, humblest man to ever walk the Earth, or he was tweaking the noses of both Lance and Johan.

Lance, for his part, said some of the funniest things ever, completely straight-faced.

1. Alberto “recognizes he had the support of a great team”

2. “Maybe for the people in front of the TV it looks a bit heated, but it’s really not,”

3. “There’s a mutual level of respect for each other that we have there, despite what went on in the last 12 months.”

4. “I think we’re both sort of tired of the drama, and just looking forward to two weeks of seeing who is the best guy this year.”

Remember, ladies and gentlemen, that today was just Stage 5 of the Tour. Just two days ago during Stage 3 there was this little exchange:

Lance being "respectful" to Alberto

So Lance means that IN THE LAST TWO DAYS they (and by “they” I mean Lance) got “tired
of the drama” and decided to act like grownups?

Uhhhhhh, sure Lance.

On the other hand, Lance did seem to finally admit to the “drama”, though in his mind it was all Bert’s fault (donut stealing little jerk).

As for “mutual respect” I guess if one guy screaming in another’s face while riding bicycles in the biggest, most important race in the world while the other guy pretends that the first guy doesn’t exist is “respect” then, yeah, they “respect” the hell out of each other.


2 Responses to “Lance Armstrong vs Alberto Contador 2010”

  1. Martin said

    Quality post. Enjoy your blog immensely – keep up the good work!

  2. bikezilla said


    Thank you.

    I appreciate you reading and commenting.

    Have a great holiday.

    Bikezilla / Tom

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